How to Stop Racing Thoughts at Night and Finally Get Some Sleep

We all know the feeling. You're exhausted. Your eyes are heavy. You get into bed, fluff the pillow just right, and settle in. And then... boom. Your brain decides it's the perfect time to go full TED Talk mode.

Welcome to the anxious thought spiral.

Let’s break this down and figure out what you can actually do about it.

Wait, Are These Anxiety Thoughts?

You might not call them anxiety thoughts. Maybe you just think of them as “late-night overthinking” or “my brain doing that annoying thing again.” But here’s the deal: many of those racing thoughts are actually anxiety in disguise.

They’re also known as intrusive thoughts, worry thoughts, or simply: the brain being a bit of a jerk when you’re trying to sleep.

Here’s one simple way to start managing them: Label the thought.

Yep, that’s it. It sounds too easy, but trust me, it works. When a thought pops in out of nowhere—say, you think your friend is mad at you because they used a period instead of a smiley—stop and say to yourself, “Oh hey, that’s an anxiety thought.”

Why does this matter?

Because when we don’t label it, our brain tends to just believe it. Instantly. No trial, no jury. Just, “Yep, this must be true.” But labeling it creates distance. It’s like saying, “Hey, I see you there, thought. You're not a fact, just a suggestion.”

Even better: try saying, “I’m just having the thought that…” and then fill in the blank.

For example:“I’m just having the thought that my friend is mad at me.”

It’s a little mental jiu-jitsu that helps keep you from getting sucked into the story.

Anxious Thoughts Are Clickbait

Think of your anxious thoughts like online clickbait. You see a juicy headline: “You’re Definitely Going to Bomb That Presentation Tomorrow!” and you can’t help but click. But once you’re in the article (or mental spiral), you realize… there’s not much there. It was all headline.

The trick? Notice the headline, but don’t click. Acknowledge it, observe it, and say “Huh, interesting.” Then move on.

Engaging with the thought—arguing with it, trying to logic it into silence—often just pulls you deeper into the rabbit hole. You don’t need to fix the thought. You just need to redirect it.

But How Do I Redirect Racing Thoughts and Sleep Better?

Okay, so we can’t stop the racing thoughts from popping up when trying to sleep. Brain's gonna brain. But we can change what we do next.

One helpful tool is Worry Time. (Yes, this is a real thing.)

Here’s how it works:

1. Set aside 10-15 minutes earlier in the day to write down your worries.

2. That’s it. Just write them down.

3. At bedtime, if one of those thoughts tries to sneak back in, you can tell it, “We already did that worry. It’s on the paper. We can worry again tomorrow.”

This does two things:

• It gives your anxious brain a designated outlet.

• It creates boundaries, which your brain might not love, but definitely needs.

Let’s take a common sleep-related anxiety thought: “I’m not going to sleep tonight.”

First, write it down during worry time. Then, when it shows up at bedtime, try to neutralize it.

Neutral thought: “Maybe I won’t sleep well tonight. But maybe I will. Let’s just see.”

See? No drama. Just curiosity.

Another popular one: “If I don’t sleep, I’ll feel terrible tomorrow.”

Okay, let’s reality-check that.

Sure, you might feel a bit off. You might be a little cranky, maybe not at peak brainpower. But you’ll survive. You’ve done it before. You might even be totally fine. The replacement thought could be:“I might not feel 100%, but I can still be okay. Maybe I treat myself to a fancy coffee tomorrow.”

Small wins.

Why the “Why” Can Be a Trap

Another sneaky sleep-killer? The question: “Why can’t I sleep like everyone else?”

First of all, you don’t know how everyone else is sleeping.

Secondly, the “why” question is often a black hole. Unless you’re working with a provider who’s helping you explore specific medical or psychological causes (like apnea, hormones, or mental health), it’s often not helpful to go down the “why” path.

The better path? Acceptance.

Try saying:“My anxiety is high right now. That’s what’s happening. And I’m working on it.”

That’s enough. That’s powerful.

Your Replacement Thoughts Need to Be Believable

Let’s go back to that classic anxious thought: “I’m not going to sleep tonight.”

An unhelpful replacement would be: “No, I’m definitely going to sleep like a baby!”

If you haven’t slept well in weeks, your brain’s going to call BS. You need a replacement thought that acknowledges the worry without feeding it.

Try: “I know sleep’s been hard lately, but I’ve had a few good nights, and I’m working on it. Let’s just see what happens tonight.”

That’s believable. That builds trust.

Try the Nightly Download

One of my favorite tools is what I call the Nightly Download.

This is a journaling practice you do at the end of your day—after the dishes are done, kids are asleep, and you’re finally off duty. You take a few minutes to dump all your thoughts onto paper. Get the worries out of your head and onto the page. What do you want to let go of for the day?

Then, take it a step further: write down a few things that went right today. What made you laugh? What are you grateful for?

Why does this matter?

Because anxiety is great at pointing out what’s going wrong. Gratitude helps balance that out. Not in a “toxic positivity” way—but in a “let’s give equal airtime to the good stuff” kind of way.

When Relaxing Feels… Weird

Here’s something I see a lot: Once people start doing the work—breathing exercises, journaling, mindfulness—they do start calming their nervous system.

And you know what happens next?

They feel weird. Like… low-energy weird. Because they’re used to living in high-anxiety mode. That anxious buzz becomes familiar. Even addictive.

That’s why relaxation training is so important. You have to practice feeling calm so that your body starts to recognize it as safe. Otherwise, you might mistake calm for “something’s wrong.”

Don’t Forget to Hum

Here’s a random but surprisingly effective trick: Start humming.

Seriously.

It’s really hard to hum and have an anxious thought at the same time. Humming produces vibrations that stimulate your vagus nerve, promoting relaxation by activating your parasympathetic nervous system ("rest and digest").

So next time your brain is on a roll with the anxious ruminations, start humming a favorite song. Something calming, something uplifting, or even something silly. Just test it out. It might give you the little break your brain needs to reset.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

Look, nighttime anxiety is common. You're not broken. You're not weak. You're a human with a brain that likes to throw parties when you're trying to sleep.

But you can retrain it. You can build a toolbox of responses that actually help you get back to sleep, instead of spiraling into existential dread at 3:07 a.m.

So start small. Label the thought. Write it down. Say “maybe, maybe not.” Hum a tune. Breathe. Be kind to yourself.

And remember: a thought is just a thought. It doesn’t get to run the show.

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For more tips and mental health support, and online therapy sessions visit www.sandiego-therapy.com. Fill out the contact form to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Anissa Bell, LMFT, and find out if online therapy is right for you (currently not offering in person therapy). Providing online therapy throughout California. Click HERE for more information about online therapy and therapy costs.