Why Your Insomnia and Anxiety Deserve Attention — Even if Others Have It Worse

Ever find yourself lying in bed at night, feeling completely alone with your racing thoughts, and then suddenly scolding yourself with something like, “Well, at least I’m not living in a war zone or dealing with a terminal illness. I should just suck it up and stop complaining about not sleeping”?

Yeah. That’s comparative suffering in action. It’s that sneaky habit of invalidating your own pain because someone else, somewhere, has it worse. And wow, do I hear this a lot—from clients, friends, even from the little voice in my own head sometimes.

Brené Brown (aka the fairy godmother of emotional wisdom) talks about this a lot. She says comparative suffering doesn’t serve anyone. It doesn’t magically redistribute empathy or make us stronger. It just adds a layer of shame on top of whatever we’re already feeling. And honestly, shame is about as useful for sleep as a double espresso at 10 p.m.

The Suffering Olympics

It’s easy to tell ourselves our problems are insignificant. Maybe you have insomnia but you have a job, a roof over your head and people who love you. So, should you really be complaining? The short answer: Yes.

Brown says empathy isn’t a finite resource. Acknowledging your own pain doesn’t take away from someone else’s suffering; it actually increases your capacity for compassion. If you ignore or suppress your struggles you don’t suddenly become more empathetic; you just become more emotionally exhausted and, let’s be real, more cranky (which doesn’t exactly help in the whole ‘being a good human’ department).

So, if you’ve been awake for weeks and feel miserable but tell yourself, “At least I don’t have (insert big problem here)”, you’re not actually making yourself feel better. You’re just adding guilt to your already tired brain. And that’s not helping anyone.

Insomnia Is Hard—And That’s Okay to Admit

Insomnia is hard. It’s not just “a little tired”. It’s lying awake for hours, checking the clock every 15 minutes, mentally calculating how much sleep you could get if you fell asleep right now. It’s waking up feeling like you got run over by a truck, drinking too much coffee to compensate and then repeating the cycle all over again the next night.Insomnia affects your mood, your focus, your relationships and your overall health. It’s a big deal. And acknowledging that doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the world’s bigger problems—it just means you’re treating yourself with the kindness and care you’d give a friend.

The Power of Admitting Your Struggles

When we admit our struggles we give ourselves permission to seek help, make change and heal. If you constantly tell yourself your insomnia isn’t that bad you’re less likely to take meaningful action to improve your sleep.

More importantly admitting your struggles allows you to show up for others in a bigger way. Think about it—when you’ve been through something tough you’re better equipped to offer real empathy to others going through similar struggles. When you say “Yeah, sleep deprivation makes me feel awful” you’re more likely to recognize when someone else is struggling and offer support instead of a dismissive “You’ll be fine”.

Giving Yourself Permission to Feel

In the end admitting your struggles, whether it’s insomnia, anxiety, stress or anything else, doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unaware of other people’s suffering. If anything it helps you be more understanding of others because you know what it’s like to struggle.

So the next time you find yourself thinking “I shouldn’t complain about my sleep issues and anxiety because other people have it worse”, pause. Take a deep breath. And remember, your struggles matter too.

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